A friend told me the other day, "all parents are selfish"...

My first defensive answer was, "WHERE GOT?".... Am I? No lar... where got selfish??

His comment lingered in my mind for a long time, and everytime minor things takes place, I think again, AM I SELFISH?!

• I tend to want Rachel to love me or hubby more than she loves anyone else...
• I want to be able to spend as much time (UNDISTURBED) with little Rachel as possible...
• I talk about NOTHING except Rachel lately...
• I tend to interpret certain things that little Rachel happen to coincidentally does, the way I want to interpret it, irregardless of what other think about it or if it's even logical to think that way...
  
• I tend to bring Rachel to places I like to go, insisting that she'll enjoy it too...
• I tend to plan the future for little Rachel based on things I have missed and things I hoped for duin my childhood, not thinking about if she (when she grows up) will enjoy the things I used to enjoy or not...

Well, to err is human... I guess that's where man childhood wishes comes from, like I wished to be able to have more amily trips, to have more time to spend with my late dad when I was younger as he was always busy with work. All this (and others) adds up to me always insisting that when I have my own small family, these are the things I will ensure is done and implemented, family times, family trips, private time with the kids and so on so forth... At this very point, I forgot to take into consideration whether is this what little Rachel and hubby would want in the future... Am I making sense? Hmm....

Labels: Journal, Parenting, Self Improvements